The small print
by xrightwhereitbelongs
Summary: This deals with suicide so beware. As with most of my stuff it's implied chastine. YES it's an addiction!


**The small print**

His eyes closed lightly due to the fast spreading weakness taking over his body.  
His soft lips were parted in a silent moan as he felt his pitiful life draining away.  
Not long now…  
Flashes of images were running through his mind like a long forgotten film being played for the first time in so long.  
Memories of the good times…  
The times that had slowly disappeared until there were none left leaving only the bad things, the bad things which had lead him to do this.  
The tiled floor was unnaturally hard beneath his numbing body, his back leaning against the ancient bathtub for support.  
It was easier this way, easier to get rid of the blood…  
This thought caused a laugh to escape perfectly, parted lips.  
Always the considerate one, ha-fucking-ha.  
Looking down he saw the crimson liquid had formed a considerably large pool around his hand, so much so that it engulfed the metal blade he had used to open his wrist so savagely.  
It wasn't the gentle - just enough pressure to do the job - gash which he thought it would be. No, it was much more violent all his frustration, anger, all his sorrow, his guilt and his betrayal had gone into that one inhumane stroke which had drained the life so quickly from him.

Black spots were beginning to cloud his vision…  
The end was coming and he knew it. He knew there was only one place for him to go and that scared him.  
He wasn't gonna kid himself, he wasn't trying to fool himself. He knew the truth, he knew this would happen the second he took the blade into his trembling hands.  
He knew it could only lead one place… and that was down, down into the fiery pits of hell. Fire, brimstone and all that shit that's exactly where he was going.  
He took in a shaky breath his lungs screaming their protest.  
Blood loss began to take its toll.  
The coldness hit him full force and soon he was shivering, shaking… sobbing.  
What the fuck had he done?  
Was he really this weak?  
Was he prepared to be tortured in screaming brutal agony for the rest of eternity over something so trivial?  
This was HIS life for fuck sake!  
Panic set in. His eyes widened.  
He tried to move, tried to stand but his head was all foggy he felt so light, like he was floating.  
NO! No no no no no no no NO! He screamed inwardly.  
He couldn't believe this was happening, how?  
His eyes began to droop, his vision was blurred with unshed tears. He tried blinking, blinking away the darkness but it wasn't working. With every passing second it brought him closer to the flames which awaited him on the other side… The flames he had never intended on ever seeing.  
Hopelessly, helplessly he was being pulled under… his consciousness finally giving in to the darkness fogging his mind.  
This was the end…  
He hadn't told the one person he had ever cared about… He hadn't explained…  
Oh god…  
It was too late, he would never know and for an eternity he would blame himself how could he do this? How could he cause someone he loved so dearly so much pain?  
Guilt.  
The guilt set in and it was to be the last emotion he would ever feel whilst alive.  
And as he breathed his last word - the name of the only man he would ever love, all went very still… He was dead.

A figure entered the apartment rather clumsily throwing his keys on the table.  
It was dark maybe a little too dark…  
Reaching for the light switch he flipped it on walking silently towards the kitchen.  
Something stopped him… There was a light on in the bathroom…  
Slowly he walked to the door gripping the handle a little too tightly he twisted…  
"Oh god no! Oh god! NO! Jesus fucking Christ!" He cried.  
There he was sprawled out before him blood pooled endlessly on the floor beside him.  
"Why! Jesus you fucking bastard WHY?" He screamed kneeling down beside the lifeless body.  
"I was looking for you! I was looking! God I couldn't find you! I should have come back… I should have know!" He sobbed taking the unharmed arm into his hand feeling for a pulse…  
He waited… Nothing.  
He choked putting a hand to his mouth.  
"Chas…" He sobbed softly burrowing his head into the boy's chest.  
"I'm sorry…"

**AN:** Okay tell me honestly how long did it take you to realise it was Chas?  
Two second? The first word?  
I liked the idea of this piece but don't think I wrote it all that well.  
You've gotta love muse, yes I did steal one or two line! What can I say? lol.


End file.
